Limitations

I am here to inform you that one chapter of my life has come to an end months ago when I finally graduated from a master's program in Applied Psychology, Clinical Emphasis. No longer a professional student I am struggling to find my footing in the workplace. Although a trip to my parents' homeland raised my spirits, the time it has taken for me to find a position of any kind has shaken my confidence. Is it not strange how confidence can be shaken so easily? It is as if confidence is a light feather and the wind can carry it in any which way. At times it feels like it is running away from you when you need it the most. At least that is how I feel right now. Nevertheless, knowing that confidence is not a quality that you are born with but rather something you build as you gain more experience gives me a little bit of hope. And still, it is frustrating realizing that confidence expires with a lack of exposure. I have only been out of practice for a couple of months, for reasons beyond my control, and already I have begun to lose the very quality that I need to keep me in my field of interest. Who knew confidence was so valuable and so fleeting.

Now let me add another layer of complexity to the equation of securing and maintaining a fulfilling career. What is this new variable you may ask? Workplace performance anxiety. This form of anxiety really hinders one's ability to maintain good work ethics. Personally, I often find myself worrying about the quality of my work. I have this fear that I am not carrying out tasks correctly and that my employers will see how little I do know. Essentially, the imposter syndrome does not help matters. In addition to the internal aspects of anxiety, there are overt physical symptoms. Overall, performance anxiety really makes it difficult to convey confidence to clients and employers. And thus the vicious cycle continues. As I admit to my limitations, I know that I am not alone. Seeing how awareness is the first step to overcoming any problem, I am certain that my performance anxiety will not be the reason for the lack of progress in my chosen career.