Soulful

It has been a very long time since I last wrote on this blog. The main reason for my absence is that I want to be objective and distant from my life from the observations that I make. For someone who is guarded and private, I have noticed that many of my past posts are of personal reflections. I openly admit to limitations, fears, and doubts. This was never my intention of blogging.

Initially, I had hoped to compose material that goes beyond the inner workings of my mind and extends to the different aspects of community living. And given that I am naturally quite an observant person, my surrounding is filled with much to write about. Seeing how I have been exposed to polar opposite cultures, I often feel like a sociologist, ready to share my interpretations. The environment is filled with goodies. It's about time I uncover and share them with my readers. Still, I don't see myself as a storyteller and for this reason, my main focus has been on personal growth.

These days I find that I am grappling with personal questions. For some time now I have been contemplating whether I entered the right profession. I want to help people, especially those experiencing mental health issues, but I wonder if I am cut out for the position of a psychological associate, the title that I have signed up for. I want to find work that aligns with my values and the way I would like to live my life.

Down the line, I hope to work within a community mental health setting and an outpatient setting. That much I know. Being able to help others with reentry and finding meaning after an illness, tragedy, or traumatic event is why I want to become a psychologist. There is a great quote by Martina Kilbride and Liz Pitt that I came across during my undergraduate thesis write up and it goes like this, "recovery does not simply mean the absence of symptoms but refers to the process whereby a person gains more control in order to establish a meaningful and fulfilling life." I want to be a part of this rewarding journey, no matter how small my role may be.

I need to remind myself of why I entered this field, not losing sight of that will help me stay on track and reach my goals, I am sure of it. Now, I must find the means to achieve such goals and find a mentor willing to invest in me. With all of the no's, I have received thus far, the task seems nearly impossible. Finding the right match for training is so important to me. I hope and pray that things look up for the better for me. Because I can't wait to start doing the work that feeds my soul.